Integration --> A Double-Edged Sword

As I walked to school on Wednesday, I ran into two people I knew on the street. Nothing was particularly special about the day or the conversations that were had except for one thing...each of them commented on how well I fit in here. I said "Pa"(goodbye) to each of them and then continued along the path to school. Once I arrived, my counterpart also commented on my integration into our little Transylvanian community.

Integration is one of the goals PCV's strive for within their community. Sometimes I thought I'd never get there. I'm elated that I've accomplished this goal to an extent, but I have mixed feelings about people telling me I'm acting or looking Romanian. I think this is because I'm down to my last 8 months in the Peace Corps. I've decided against extending and every moment I'm acutely aware that the end of this experience is quickly approaching. I know I shouldn't be thinking about this yet. I try very hard to be present in the here and now, but I can't help but think about how I am going to prepare myself to leave this place I've called home for the past two years. How am I going to react to life back in Indiana? I'd wager to say that nearly every volunteer deals with these anxieties; they got through it and so will I, but it's going to be tough.

Integration is a double-edged sword to me. It makes my life in Romania feel immensely rewarding and full of joy; but then it also makes it all the more difficult and painful to say goodbye.

Martin Luther said "Pray and let God worry." So I'm going to say a prayer tonight, and then I will deal with these worries when I'm actually staring the reality of leaving in the fata (face).