School's Out until 2010 for me.

I've spent a significant amount of time being angry over the current situation in the Romanian education system, but I've given myself some time to process and calm down a bit before writing this post.  Due to the current economic crisis, the Romanian gov't decided to reduce teachers' salaries by 30% this year in order cut back the budget.  The result was that this semester is shortened by 10 days because teachers aren't being paid for them. I understand why teachers wouldn't work when they aren't being paid, and I liked seeing the passion for teaching and children come out in the arguments that were had concerning this situation in the teacher's lounge. It's also interesting because, in the two years I've been here in Romania, teacher's have been promised the doubling of their salaries (which never occurred and resulted in strikes), and then they have had a large portion of their already too small salaries lessened by 30%.  I understand the necessity of making difficult decisions, but I will never be a supporter of any decision that takes valuable hours of learning away from children.

That being said, I like vacations!!  Who doesn't??  School is out until 2010 for me because of the Dec. 1 Romanian national unification holiday and added vacation days combined with a trip to London I will be taking next week!  That's right!!  LONDON!!  My friend/student Ioana received an interview invitation at Cambridge University in the U.K.  She asked me to come along with her and of course I couldn't say no!  So as much as I'll miss my students and colleagues...I'm enjoying some free days in my Romanian hometown, taking a trip to London, and then getting all packed up and flying back to Indiana for Christmas!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving...I certainly did!  I'm currently writing about my Thanksgiving 2009 adventure.  I'll post it soon.

Help!

Do all the good you can, and make as little fuss about it as
possible.
-Charles Dickens

Friday night I had just laid down to go to sleep at around 11:45. I had a headache, and I thought that I just needed a bit of sleep. Not long after I laid down, my gas alarm in the kitchen began to sound. I hopped out of bed to discover that my headache was worse, I was a bit dizzy, and I was also slightly disoriented. I clumsily made my way to the kitchen and living room to open the doors to my balcony. It was a bit chilly so I grabbed the nearest jacket I could find and my cell phone and then headed out to sit on the balcony for some fresh air. Once I was breathing in some fresh air I immediately began to feel better. While I sat there I realized how incredibly lucky I had been. The stumbling around my apartment, and trying to think of what to do, led to me thinking about what could have happened...I don't want to be overly dramatic, but death crossed my mind. Through tears and deep breathing of fresh air, I called my friends in my neighborhood hoping someone would answer even though it was midnight. I didn't get an answer on the first couple of tries so I decided to call my counterpart. She took charge! She told me to call my friend Dana's mom, Doina, and to ask if I could stay with her. I have many mothers/grandmothers here in Tarnaveni, and she is one of them. Doina made me some tea and rubbed my back while I tried to make my crying desist. I am currently getting the gas leak in my apartment fixed, and I'm feeling just fine

Lesson Learned:
It's a lesson I've learned before, but somehow I always seem to forget it
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LET OTHERS HELP YOU! SOMETIMES YOU NEED OTHER PEOPLE'S HELP
Peace Corps Volunteers, me included, are often independent people who like to take care of things on their own. We like to do as much good as we can without making too much of a fuss, which is why I often think about the Charles Dickens quotation I included above. I sat on my balcony, still feeling a little panicky about the situation, I was thinking of what to do. Do I really need to call people for help? Can I handle this myself? Do I want to let people see me cry? What if I would have passed out??? All of these things ran through my mind. I decided to make the phone call, and what I've been blessed with since is an outpouring of concern and love! It's a humbling experience to face something out of your control, to deal with a life threatening situation, to simply ask for help.... I'm glad I called. I did exactly as I should in the situation, and I can take care of myself; but that doesn't mean I don't need the help of others. It is not weak to ask for help...sometimes it can be empowering to the other person when you ask for their help, and sometimes it can be a comfort and pleasant surprise of how much you are loved.

Why it's all worth it

It's little things like this that remind me why I joined the Peace Corps, and why I love being a teacher.

Two nights a week I sign onto Yahoo Messenger to speak with my students in English. I correct them and I will only speak with them if they try to write in English. Here is one of my most recent conversations that filled my heart with joy.

alex: yeeeeeeeeeeeee
alex: you are so good with us!!
Me: I hope so. I'm glad you have fun with English
alex: because of you I like Enghlish
Me: thank you. that makes me happy
alex: I hope so!!
alex: The WORLD have need people like you

I have tears in my eyes from that conversation. I don't deserve to have such nice things said about me. My kids are amazing...they make me better!

We find greatest joy, not in getting, but in expressing what we are...Men do not really live for honors or for pay; their gladness is not the taking and holding, but in doing, the striving, the building, the living. It is a higher joy to teach than to be taught. It is good to get justice, but better to do it; fun to have things but more to make them. The happy man is he who lives the life of love, not for the honors it may bring, but for the life itself. --R.J. Baughan

Integration --> A Double-Edged Sword

As I walked to school on Wednesday, I ran into two people I knew on the street. Nothing was particularly special about the day or the conversations that were had except for one thing...each of them commented on how well I fit in here. I said "Pa"(goodbye) to each of them and then continued along the path to school. Once I arrived, my counterpart also commented on my integration into our little Transylvanian community.

Integration is one of the goals PCV's strive for within their community. Sometimes I thought I'd never get there. I'm elated that I've accomplished this goal to an extent, but I have mixed feelings about people telling me I'm acting or looking Romanian. I think this is because I'm down to my last 8 months in the Peace Corps. I've decided against extending and every moment I'm acutely aware that the end of this experience is quickly approaching. I know I shouldn't be thinking about this yet. I try very hard to be present in the here and now, but I can't help but think about how I am going to prepare myself to leave this place I've called home for the past two years. How am I going to react to life back in Indiana? I'd wager to say that nearly every volunteer deals with these anxieties; they got through it and so will I, but it's going to be tough.

Integration is a double-edged sword to me. It makes my life in Romania feel immensely rewarding and full of joy; but then it also makes it all the more difficult and painful to say goodbye.

Martin Luther said "Pray and let God worry." So I'm going to say a prayer tonight, and then I will deal with these worries when I'm actually staring the reality of leaving in the fata (face).