I wanted to write this post while the feelings are still fresh. This morning I got a phone call from the Peace Corps Medical Office. The phone call was concerning my thyroid TSH levels. They have been a little elevated over the last several months, and my doctor increased my medicine to 100 micrograms. (yeah freaking micrograms...they do not control my ability to do anything!!) The problem with this is that if my thyroid is not stable as of May 19, I no longer will be leave for the Peace Corps or Romania.
To imagine getting the news in a few weeks that I will not be leaving is hard to take. I will be devastated, and I guess that's why I'm writing this. I'll need you all even if I don't ask for help. I want so badly to trust God's plan for me...and maybe He's testing me right now?! Although I think he's tested me plenty enough lately. It's hard to trust God's plan, and it's extremely tempting to regress to my past destructive behaviors when something goes wrong. However, today I like to think that I have a firmer grasp on who I want to be and that's not it! Like Chad said yesterday at church...I need to strive to live out the Fruits of the Spirit.
So...over the next three weeks we will just see where God leads me. Perhaps I'm meant to do His work in the States and I misunderstood the call to the Peace Corps. Or maybe, just maybe, He's preparing me for the struggles I'll inevitable face at times in Romania.
Prayer Requests: that my thyroid levels are stable over the next month, that I can stay positive and enjoy the next three weeks, and that I can live out the Fruits of the Spirit.
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