Joy & Sorrow

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.  --Kahlil Gibran

Today my official COS (Close of Service) date from Peace Corps Romania was approved.  My last day in Romania will be July 2, 2010.

My emotions are mixed regarding COS, and I can really understand what Kahlil Gibran was talking about when he wrote about joy and sorrow.  When I think about going home and new adventures back in Indiana I am joyful; when I think about leaving Romania with the possibility of never returning sorrow consumes my soul.  What am I to do?  That is rhetorical.  You don't have to answer... I'm pretty sure I have an idea as to what I should be doing.  LIVING!  LOVING!  SERVING!  In the Peace Corps I sought adventure, wonder, and purpose.  Throughout the past two years I've experienced each of those (and more), but I've also learned that those three things are not exclusive to traveling, volunteering, Peace Corps, etc.... Each of those things is ongoing throughout every venture one embarks upon.  Before I begin to wax poetic even further I'm going to cut myself off.

I thought I was going to be ecstatic about knowing the day I'll be returning to the States.  After learning I'd be leaving on July 2, I sat in the cancelaria (teacher's lounge) and I let flashbacks from all the moments I've had there wash over me.  It was if I could see myself on the first day I sat there terrified to speak in Romanian with my new colleagues; the countless celebrations for name days, birthdays, weddings...; my jaw hanging wide open when bottles of alcohol covered the table; planning lessons; my colleagues throwing me a birthday party; or all the servus', pa's, la revedere's, va pupati's that I took for granted.

My days are now officially numbered (170 to be precise), and I promise to make them count.  It's been quite a ride, and I still have a little left to go.  I look forward to my next adventures; whatever they end up being.